June 05, 2012

So many memories etched in my mind

I would have to say that moving is one of the more stressful times of a person's life.  Last week we left a 4000 sq. ft. home that I had designed on a quarter of land and lived in for 23 years. All through the stages of purging and packing I said when I drive down the driveway for the last time, I will sigh a big sigh of relief just because it was so exhausting..... more like overwhelming on some days!  Boy, was I wrong.

On the last day I cleaned until 9:00 pm and then took a final stroll through the house. I was overtaken with emotion. The house suddenly seemed huge when empty. It was hauntingly beautiful as the evening sun shone through windows and as I went through various rooms, memories hit like waves and I sobbed. I took a few pictures of the empty rooms, but for what reason? I suppose trying to hold on to a tiny piece of that home in some way.  I thought it was fitting that the evening sun was centered over the house and shining through the spruce tree that my husband bought and planted for my 40th birthday quite a few of those years ago.  What a final goodbye to my beautiful home!

At the end of our hallway, we always measured the grand kids height and left a mark and date on the wall at birthdays or whenever we thought of it. I wanted to recreate that memory wall onto  scrapbook paper but of course time ran out. Now, I realize I failed to get a picture of it....  So many memories etched in my mind.

For now we are staying in our daughter's yard in our motorhome for some much needed down time. We purchased her home but she doesn't have another place to move to. Next week we will go to BC where we have a second home and spend the rest of the summer. It is on Vancouver Island and I love the calming atmosphere of the ocean.  It is a peaceful place and good for the body and soul.

I hope my beads fit in the back of our vehicle. I want to create but my mind and body is completely exhausted from this move. I have ordered more beads so maybe when they arrive, I will be motivated.

 What do you do when you want to create but you avoid it at the same time?  Oh yes, and what do you think of my new blog design by Karen Valentine Design?


Halinka said...

And what do You say to the story like that:
Ihad divorced,was so called'lonely mother'.Gathered the money,like an ant its food,bought the old house for the restoration,put lots of further money into it to be looking nice and functional,had been living there happily for 27 years,them my daughter got married and went abroad,I was left 'brokenhearted' and lonely.Got known my present Husband,who is Danish-sold my house in a beautiful place in Poland,20 km from the city centre,where I was born,lived,was educated and worked afterwards.I left my country,farewelled my house,my garden and my all Polish cases.Lived in Denmark for three years and moved to Sweden.As my Husband now is working in Norway,Oslo-213 km from our place-he goes for working four days and comes back home for the weekend.I stay here alone-with no language knowledge,no friends,no acquaintance,because I am the new one here.We consider to move out to Oslo now.I do not want to stay here any longer.I want my Husbant to be coming back home for dinner every day,like most of Husbands do.
We have another house for sale in denmark,but it's not easy-You probably know.
People move sometimes.Sometimes too much in their lives.They look for normal.stable place to live and work.Such the world is-never listens to our wishes and if someone says ,that 'I am the Master of my own Lid´fe' I always say-only to the certain level-maybe in 60%-the rest happens out of our will,agains our wishes.
Don't worry-be happy:-)
I like YOur blog now.
Sometimes I think up a brilliant idea,but somehow-my 'sixth sense' tells me to do many things'around',but not the project.It means in a rule-that I shouldn't even get started,because I'll screw it up:-))People should learn,how to listen to themselves.I have-it helps me to live.

Katherine at Terra Beadworks said...

Thank you Halinka for sharing your story. I like to be alone but I don't think I would like not knowing the language. I hope you are able to move closer to your husband's work. I have since this post been able to get back to bead weaving and you are so right. It has to be from the heart or else it won't be a work of art. You surely know that as well because you do such beautiful work.

Karen Williams said...

When my parents left the house that they had lived in for 35 years, the house I grew up in, my father actually removed and replaced the board (part of one door frame) where they'd measured us every year on our birthdays. They took it with them to their new home. Dad had even measured it before he took it down, so he could reinstall it at the same height in their new home. Now all the grandkids heights are recorded on the board at their birthdays.

It's hard leaving one life to start a new one - hope you can look towards the new opportunities and challenges without losing what you loved about the old.

And when I want to create, but need a break from it, I turn to one of my auxillary craft/art forms. Playing with watercolors, doing some hand embroidery, or even simply doodling.

Best wishes on your move!